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Saturday, September 25, 2010

Longest week ever (with added Peg Bundy)

I've been staring at a blank screen for ages with no idea how to start this post.  Maybe a bullet point list would be best.

  • In London, I suffered a mysterious allergic reaction which left me with a severe rash all over my body.  If you think that's gross, then you should stop reading, because this is just the first in a loooong list of ailments.
  • On getting back to Ireland, I started to get mysterious chest pains, which is how I ended up in an emergency room at 4am watching Euronews on a loop.  Interesting side note - I learned that I have relatively few opiate receptors, which means that hard drugs (and the painkillers they gave me in the waiting room) have no effect on me.  Go figure.
  • Then, the day after all that happened, a filling fell out while I was chewing a piece of gum, which was just heaping insult upon insult to injury.

What next, I ask?  Am I going to get ebola to round the week off?  Typhus maybe?  Necrotising fasciitis?  It is literally one thing after the other .  I would not be surprised if I was served with a subpoena impregnated with anthrax or something.

This has left me in bed on a truckload of painkillers and anti-inflammatories and all kinds of wonderful drugs that have no effect on my battered opiate receptors.  I don't want to sound all 'poor me' but I have NO IDEA what to post on this week.  The ideas aren't exactly flowing.  The crystal stream of inspiration has been stoppered up.

With one exception.  Hallowe'en costumes.  Yep, I know it's a while off.  Hopefully you'll forgive me for being so pre-emptory, but this is the one cogent idea I have managed to have in between gobbling Difene and jelly worms courtesy of Aisling (the jelly worms that is, not the Difene) and chats with herself and Dawn .

Myself and the boyfriend will be going as Peg and Al Bundy, which is appropriate, because his name is Al and he works in a shoe shop and I sit on my ass all day watching Oprah and scarfing bonbons while engaging in borderline sex-pestery.  It's a hard knock life.

Scroll over to see full pics.  Ooh collage-tastic.

The formula:  A hell of a lot of animal print, shiny tight pants, carrot-red hair dye , Snooki-style Bumpits and a vat of Aquanett (sorry ozone layer, but something's got to give).

Oh Peg.  You complete me.  Why can't we be best friends?