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Thursday, May 6, 2010

A soulless and harrowing pursuit

One of the most soulless and harrowing pursuits in the life of man, along with reading the telephone book or a six-hour treadmill-propelled powerwalk up a steep slope must surely be the search for a suitable job conducted entirely though the internet. The internet usually serves to dent only my credit rating.

Now though, with the threat of total insolvency ever-looming, jobs and recruitment websites are ever-circling my consciousness like a group of peckish vultures just waiting for the inevitable collapse before they can start picking at the carrion of my sanity.
This may seem like an embellishment on my part, but if you do think so, you haven't fallen prey to the recruitment trap yet. A friend of mine recently recounted a horror story where she was plagued with jobs she specified she didn't want in the first place. When she did get a job (without any help from the recruitment agency, may I add) she was unceremoniously told that she may hate her job and that she could contact the agency when she inevitably became unemployed again. That particular agency is still waiting for her to call back.
My own beef is not with the agencies. My problem is with job websites. The typical search goes a little like this. I go on www.nojobshere.ie and click 'Cork', then 'Editorial' or 'Writing'. Two jobs await my application. IT consultant and wind analyst. I'm familiar with the concept of applicants embellishing their skillsets, but when did employers start doing it? Don't get me wrong, at this stage I'd be a guinea pig eating lipstick in a testing lab if it earned me money, but I don't have enough fur. I would be a wind analyst if I could, however, I still struggle to grasp what humid weather is and I don't understand the difference between a tornado and a hurricane.
In times like this, people find they can still fall back on their side hustle. The side hustle is generally a hobby that brings in a bit of money or a part-time job that got you through college before you graduated and went on the dole. My side hustle was bartending. I still tend bar from time to time and I love doing it.
Back to the jobs website. Click 'Cork'. Click 'Bar Staff'. Two jobs. Hmm, that's ok, let's see... IT consultant and wind analyst. Great.