Who’s yer woman?
My blog is Think What You Like, and my name is Aisling. I’m a freelance journalist, Beyonce
obsessive and garlic enthusiast. I write the Irish Independent Weekend Magazine beauty column,
and I do a few bits for the Evening Echo in Cork. I’m most likely to be found tapping away at my
laptop, rustling around in a fridge or in bed, my favourite place in the world. Prepare for a no-holds-
barred look inside my warped mind/wardrobe.
I’m not going to lie to you. Most of the time, I feel like I live on the island that fashion forgot. If you asked my friends about my fashion sense, they’d laugh so hard they’d slip into a coma.
I never claim to know anything about fashion, and I certainly don’t claim to dress well. I go for whatever is safe, whatever suits my figure and whatever happens to fit me well.
I’m eternally jealous of those girls that can put outfits together in the dark and wind up looking like Olivia Palermo’s more stylish sister. But what makes me feel less of a fashion-failure is the knowledge that there are probably more girls like me than girls like Olivia.
In 2011, I’d be lying if I said I was going to go in all guns blazing and start buying vintage, styling myself on obscure models and wearing stilettos to Dunnes. Here’s what I’m actually gonna try.
Resolution One: Drop two dress-sizes
When I look in the mirror, I don’t see a size 12, 5’9’’ average looking girl. I see a fat mess. And I assure you, I don’t have body dysmorphia. I’m just honest with myself.
A few years ago, I was a size 8 and could pretty much work anything. But then belly got me. And huge breasts tracked me down. Oh, and double chin took a shine to my face and stuck around.
I find myself turning down any clothes that are tight on my tummy, anything with a high neck and anything that gives me the dreaded muffin top. I do this so as not to cause widespread offence to people, but it leaves me with few fashion options.
So in 2011, I want to lose weight, which I know will give me more options. I won’t have to worry about covering my belly. I won’t have to worry about looking like one giant boob. I won’t have to opt for tracksuits 6 days a week. It’ll be great.
Resolution Two: Go shopping more often, and spend less
But Aisling, that’s a big whopping paradox?! Bear with me, reader.
I tend to wait until there’s an occasion, then rush out and buy a last minute outfit. Big mistake. I make hasty decisions, I don’t consider value, quality or wearability and I end up choosing things I’ll wear once and never again. Not to mention I spend ridiculous money in the process, which I cannot afford as a penniless writer.
Panicked shopping sprees don’t work, I reckon. Unless Rachel Zoe is accompanying you, it’s likely you’ll get lost in the sartorial abyss and buy things you wouldn’t let your dog wear. Building my wardrobe piece by piece in a calm, controlled manner has always been an aim of mine, and 2011 is the year it’s gonna happen.
Resolution Three: Be adventurous, but not someone else
You’d be forgiven for thinking my wardrobe belonged to an Amish person. I play it ridiculously safe, choosing items that can fulfil multiple functions, and winding up with plain EVERYTHING. No patterns, no embellishment, no wild colours, all muted tones and simple lines.
I have a morbid fear of accessories. I wear variations of the same outfit pretty much every day. ALL my ‘going-out’ outfits are black. I’m in a rut, and I need to start taking chances or I’ll be stuck in it for the rest of my days.
I need desperately to stop being so plain. If I had an amazing figure, being plain wouldn’t be so bad, because my body would make up for it. Same with my face – if I was stunningly beautiful, I could distract people with my gaze and they wouldn’t notice what I had on. In 2011, I’m going to start buying things that I’d usually shy away from, and try to express a bit more of my personality through my clothes.
I feel like a vibrant, colourful person trapped in the body of a capuchin monk. Change is needed. So, if you’re a stylist, personal trainer or unreasonably generous multi-millionaire and would like to help a misguided, would-be fashionista get her shit together, do get in touch.
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